Dr. Abdullah bin Musa Al Tayer
The word “no” was hard on my tongue, I used it too much, and I was afraid of its effect on the opposite side, whether I knew it or not, and felt guilty when I had to say it. As for the word “yes” it’s easy and runs smoothly on the tip of my tongue with its psychological and social consequences that I can’t stand it at times. It is natural for me to bear the burden of “yes” when it is within the limits of my personal responsibilities and abilities, but how can I abide by its consequences when I am promised in matters of public interest that are not governed by me? By rules and regulations? In my academic life and university work, I have found nothing wrong with saying “Yes, I do exist, I’m glad, I agree.” It is within the limits of my time, money and power to implement. Attempt. Yet I practice it with open arms to serve others.
With my first managerial position, I was faced with the inevitable reality of using the word “no” without guilt, without adoration benevolence, or apologies, or even making up false stories, simply because I had The decision to promise was not, and because some were adamant on their requests with their prior knowledge. I do not have the capacity to fulfill it, and some are trying to entice you to fulfill their request, and you alone bear the responsibility.
I bought a book called “250 Ways to Say It and Mean It: How to Say It” not “Stop Trying to Please Please Forever” by Dr. Susan Newman. To observe the limits and scope of your strengths when you say “yes”, and to know that saying “no” has the same positive value when used at the time.
In the introduction to her book, the author states: “This book does not justify the position of a selfish person who wants everything for himself. Rather, it addresses the many of us who stop to say yes in those circumstances.” Those who do not need to submit.” And she adds, “A person who always agrees becomes worthless, feels humiliated, gets into trouble easily, and is exploited by others. is done, and as a result you do not find him happy, and he is angry with himself because he has become an obedient person.” It certainly isn’t an incentive to say “no” in all situations. Excessive use of “no” indolence, jealousy, and hatred in serving others moves a person from a state of obedience to a state of indolence and repulsion.
Our culture is infused with optimism, positivity, fear, and generosity, and our religion urges us to be the key to the good and ward off evil. But yes, and good news, and the present is not the key to good in all matters, because it can cause sorrow for the one who tried to please him by hearing it. If you can say these words and are able to carry them out, it’s your business. Otherwise, even the word “no” can be the key to goodness. How many people have we “dusted” off the word “gospel”, and we don’t mean it, or we don’t have the ability to apply it; So she waited for months and maybe even years to get what she wanted, and if we dared to say “no” to her from the start, she would have had options in time.
Using “no” without giving a reason is an exercise in the freedom to say what you think without pressure from others who use you to advance their own interests at their expense. Anyone who uses “no” at the right time is not selfish. There are selfish people who pressurize to achieve their interests, even if they are taken to prison or hospital to achieve.
The use of the word “yes” in everything loses its credibility, and for it to have a special effect on the listener, it must come from a person who can use “no” as much as he can use “yes”. does. things are coveted; Without it, the promises would be worthless, but would rather give outsiders a chance to continue pressuring, robbing the will of the good and disrespecting the good. Saying the word “no” out loud gives room for movement, sets up a fence that protects freedom, judgment, and interests, and prevents others from seizing your right to defend yourself and your oppressed surroundings. . One of the keys to successful relationships is learning to say “no” without feeling guilty, so that you can say yes without resentment.
Saying “no” doesn’t take away humanity, kindness, and empathy, and doesn’t close the doors of goodness. Rather, it preserves charity and the benefit of the people when “yes” is said and its purpose is invoked, and when “no” is said, the intent is the inability to implement the request, as God may bestow upon a soul his Doesn’t over load capacity. Saying “yes” in the workplace should not be associated with a violation of rules. It provides benefits to those who do not deserve it, and the use of “no” should not deprive a person of what the system has ordered for him.