We can certainly all agree: the last thing an EU bubble needs is more tired, stale and obscure jargon.
Brussels is a place full of “global actors” that you won’t see starring in movies; “instruments” that do not produce music; and “resolutions” that don’t end anything. There are so many acronyms that communicating in this city feels like having survived an explosion at an alphabet soup factory.
But let’s be realistic. There’s no hope in Brussels of stamping out jargon for good, so the next best option is to improve the quality of the stock phrases we use and, we say, sex up the EU to make all our lives better. they speak.
So what words should be included in the EU dictionary next year? let’s find out:
Melonlee: Far-right leaders felt during their visit to Brussels.
Flagstation: Like Recession but with lots of EU flags to make you feel like someone’s got an economic meltdown.
sharp-Cut-the-nonsense: when you interrupt someone who is explaining top candidate process for you, because it’s pointless to know about something that will never be used.
A Double-Borrell Approach: To approach a complex and historically sensitive subject – such as the EU’s geopolitical relations with the outside world – with all the finesse of a shotgun.
Orbankupt: When you are ruined morally and financially at the same time.
damage to brexit, It’s a sensation in Brussels to hear who is Britain’s Prime Minister this week.
Liquid-hardness: Solidarity Chemical compounds produced when exposed to EU institutions. Especially if Germany is involved.
Ursula von Denner: Function to forbid someone to touch your phone in case someone goes through your text messages.
Ignored Streams: When you block out all criticism by pursuing a strategy that inevitably ends in disaster.
Oyster-ovite: Any clueless but opinionated bloviator arguing about Russia’s war in Ukraine on social media.