India The world’s most famous sex manual may have been created in the Kamasutra, but the country still hesitates to talk openly about sex, says an intimacy coach living there.
Intimacy coach Pallavi Barnwal, who grew up in the east of the country but now lives in Delhi, says she wants to break the taboos about sex and intimacy for Indian families, and regularly follows her Instagram page. But covers everything from masturbation to sexless relationships. Porn.
Barnwal, a divorced mother-in-law, uses her own experiences to help couples struggling with intimacy issues—including seeing their parents’ marriage and their first disastrous relationship.
She says that she only discovered self-pleasure in her early thirties and now wants to encourage other people to talk about sex more freely, adding that it is still common for many. There is an ‘elephant in the room’ in Indian homes.
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Divorced mother-in-law Pallavi Barnwal, who lives in Delhi, spent five years in a sexless marriage with an ex-husband – and they had a tumultuous relationship when the couple split. She now helps couples be more open about discussing their sex lives
told FEMAIL that India may be the land of the Kama Sutras, but there are still many taboos surrounding sex – and adds that many people still struggle to use the word sex, preferring more romantic names Like ‘Making Love’
Barnwal doesn’t remember how couples were openly affectionate in public when she was a child, and adds that Indians often struggle to pronounce the word sex if there is a more palatable alternative.
‘People will often use some euphemisms like ‘making love’ or ‘first night’. Intercourse is alluded to, and people try to romanticize it—especially on wedding nights, when the beds are strewn with rose petals.
’ Or as it is referred to in the context of procreation, so people would ask newly wed couples “when are you giving us the good news?”.
‘No one in my family talked about sex; Of course my parents didn’t give me a lot of information when I was growing up.
‘I had a very conservative and even conservative upbringing in a very small town in India and I never talked about sex. I didn’t discover my clitoris until I was 33 years old.’
On her Instagram page, she regularly discusses topics including porn and masturbation and gives advice to couples on how to be more open with each other.
Tabu: She says she receives direct messages from people who say they want to leave comments on her Instagram posts, but fear retaliation from their families
Barnwal remembers her own wedding night as a ‘failure’, where she was unsure how to act – and any romance ended with the sound of relatives and wedding guests sleeping on campbeds around the house. done.
When her intimacy-free relationship broke down five years later, she began sleeping with different men—older or married—and properly discovered sex and masturbation for the first time.
After training to become a sex coach and writing her first book, The Sex Starved Relationship, Barnwal decided to turn her Instagram page into a forum for others to ask questions, and questions from people seeking instant advice. were asked.
In 2019, he gave a TED talk on how to talk to young people about sex.
She told FEMAIL that because many people first experience sex through glimpses of porn on the Internet or in ‘shady’ magazines, it’s a shame to talk about it.
‘People think that if we talk about sex, we’re really talking about porn and people don’t want to engage with porn, so they don’t talk about it.’
Coach says she gets direct messages from people who say they want to leave comments on her Instagram posts but fear retaliation from their families.
She also says that while many people message and ask for advice, they also have to face ‘d*** pics’ of men.
Shame: Barnwal thinks many people associate sex with porn, and because they don’t want to engage with porn, they stop talking about sex
‘I used to get annoyed by people sending nude pictures or their personal numbers, but now I don’t because I also understand that a big part of this is due to sexual illiteracy and that’s something we need to work to change. Will have to do it.’
She says that the Kamasutra, which is believed to have been written about 1600 years ago in India, has been exploited and is unlikely to be found in many modern homes.
The book is based on ancient Indian Hindu philosophy and was first translated into English in 1883 under the guidance of Victorian explorer Richard Burton, who also added saucy illustrations.
‘We are the land of Kama Sutra but we are as ignorant as the people of any other country. We don’t have copies in the house, and if we do, they might get stuck somewhere deep in the shelf.’
Follow Pallavi Barnwal instagram.com/coachpllavibarnwal
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